Valentines day and the real reason she hates you, the edible thong, and would rather curl up with a pack of digestives and a Poirot DVD.
She walks into the card shop to find the boring ‘dad’ cards with the pictures of boats and leaves on the front, mysteriously replaced by a garden of red balloons. Disoriented, she clings on to a passing child’s pushchair for support, not noticing there’s one too many Poundland bags on the handle.
She shuffles along nevertheless observing her surroundings through squinted eyes. She sees A1 sized cards that couldn’t fit into your garage, never mind the small A6 sized bag the sales assistant is cramming it into. She quickly bustles past quickly snatching up a ‘to hubby, from me’ card before pirouetting out of the scarlet nightmare and into the safety or the car.
If you are the lucky girl that ends up with the Cookworks blender from Argos, and not the Agent Provocateur dressing gown, it's not the end of the world. If you're not sure what to write in the humongous A1 card, because dissertations have been written on less surface area, that's also OK.
Enjoy your day regardless, and sometimes it's best to skip the fancy pants dinner, and share a pizza and a bottle of pop with the mister. Happy Valentines day.